This week I thought it interesting to share some thoughts and insights on ego. Now let me not be presumptuous and assume that my ego could be put aside as I ponder and write this post. But let me be humble enough in allowing myself the capacity to stream the insights that pass through my mind.
Now, I’ve often wondered what my ego trip was all about and why I sometimes found myself in a state of confusion. I mean, what was it to judge myself for over-eating, over-consuming, over-dressing, over-doing, over-thinking, over-sleeping, over-worrying, over-ranting and over and out!
What was all this ego mania about and what was I to do about it?
I took myself in circles trying to understand the ego until I met a wise man. We met by chance through some eastern mystics I was connected to and sure enough I felt immediately awe inspired by his presence.
When I began to tell him about my life and what was confusing me he merely said to me “Anneka, you’re not what you think you are.”
I couldn’t quite grasp his statement until he said again “You don’t know anything.”
The power of his words smashed right through my mind, devastated my ego and brought my entire being to a halt.
So poignant were his words that I found myself incapable of even philosophising on them.
I eventually realised that indeed, we are not what we think we are, and at any point that we try to insert a label, an identity, a state, a control or a demand on ourselves and others, that we’ll end up somewhat in a place of suffering.
This home truth felt cruel to me and my ego, so I asked the wise man what I could do about it.
“When you are aligned to the part of your ego that’s in pain, you need to create an energetic shift and detach from the pain.” He told me.
I closed my eyes to ingest his words and then opened them when I felt him waiting for me.
He continued on, “Simply say, ‘I detach’ and breathe out”.
I did that and felt lighter. I also felt somewhat dumbfounded by the surge of memories that proved to me that I really wasn’t what I thought and life really didn’t happen in the way I thought it would. Nor was I even certain right now that I’d be able to smash my ego into an oblivion.
Rather I decided to hold on tight to the truth of my heart and soul and to live inside it as much as was humanly possible.
So, I hope this note on ego and the words of the wise man will too help you somewhat in your passage of life.
Be open and be in love.
Lots of love, Anneka and Teresa